How to Choose Your Micro-Wedding or Elopement Officiant
When you're planning a micro-wedding or elopement, every choice feels a little more personal (and choosing your elopement officiant is no exception). In a small ceremony, there’s less of a crowd and more room for emotion. The words spoken during your ceremony take center stage, and the person saying them plays a huge role in setting the tone for the entire experience. Whether you’re envisioning something lighthearted, emotional, or deeply spiritual, the right officiant can help bring your vision to life in a way that feels true to your relationship.
So how do you choose someone to lead one of the most meaningful moments of your life? I’ve photographed countless intimate weddings, and I’ve seen firsthand just how powerful a thoughtful, intentional ceremony can be.
Before we go any further, hi! I’m Rachel, a New Jersey-based wedding and elopement photographer serving couples throughout NJ and NYC. I’m here for the small, meaningful moments: the tearful glances, the laughter through vows, and everything in between. If you’re looking for guidance as you plan your day (or someone to capture it all with heart), I’d be honored to be part of your story.
Here’s what to consider as you choose the perfect elopement officiant for your day.
Why the Right Officiant Makes All the Difference
In a traditional wedding, the ceremony can sometimes feel like a formality—a brief stop before cocktail hour. But in an elopement or micro-wedding, it’s the heart of the celebration. There’s no big production or long to-do list. It’s just you, your partner, and the love you’ve chosen to commit to each other.
That’s why the officiant you choose matters so much. They’re not just reading a script. They’re shaping the atmosphere, holding space for your emotions, and helping you mark this moment with intention. A good elopement officiant doesn’t just guide the ceremony—they reflect your story, your values, and your vision for the future.
Decide Between a Professional or a Loved One
One of the first decisions to make is whether you want to hire a professional officiant or ask someone you know to lead your ceremony. There’s no right or wrong answer here, it’s all about what feels right for you as a couple.
A professional officiant brings experience and ease. They’ve likely performed many ceremonies and know how to balance structure with sentiment. They can also offer suggestions for readings, rituals, and vows, and they’ll make sure all the legal pieces are handled properly.
On the other hand, asking a close friend or family member to officiate can add an incredibly personal touch. When someone who knows you deeply speaks your story out loud, it creates an emotional connection that’s hard to replicate. Just make sure they feel comfortable speaking in front of others (even a small group) and are willing to take the role seriously.
Whether you go with a pro or someone close to you, the key is finding someone who understands your relationship and is genuinely excited to be part of your day.
What to Look for in an Elopement Officiant
When you’re choosing an elopement officiant, you want someone who is not only organized and reliable but also aligned with your values and style. Think about the tone you want for your ceremony. Is it romantic and emotional? Light and playful? Quiet and reflective?
Your officiant should be someone who can hold the space in a way that feels natural and true to your dynamic. They should be a good speaker—clear, warm, and confident. And just as importantly, they should be a good listener. The best officiants take the time to get to know you, understand your story, and tailor the ceremony accordingly.
It’s also helpful if they’re comfortable with logistics—things like cueing music, guiding guests, or helping you stay grounded in the moment.
Questions to Ask Before You Book
Once you’ve found someone you’re interested in working with, take time to ask a few key questions before making it official. Here are a few that can help guide the conversation:
Have you officiated elopements or micro-weddings before?
Do you create custom scripts or use a standard ceremony?
How do you get to know your couples and personalize the experience?
Will you help with writing vows or suggest readings?
Are you legally authorized to perform weddings in our location?
These questions can help you gauge their experience, style, and flexibility—and make sure you’re on the same page from the start.
How to Help Your Officiant Prepare
Once you’ve chosen your elopement officiant, it’s important to set them up for success. Share your hopes for the ceremony—both in terms of content and feeling. Talk about your relationship, how you met, what you love about each other, and what you envision for your future. These details help the officiant craft something that feels real and grounded in your story.
If you’re writing your own vows or incorporating special readings or rituals, make sure to give your officiant all of that information ahead of time. You can even walk through a quick rehearsal, especially if your ceremony includes cues, music, or movement.
And finally, let them know how much their role means to you. Whether they’re a close friend or someone you’ve hired, officiating a wedding—especially one as intimate as an elopement—is an honor. Your gratitude will help them step into that moment with confidence.
Making the Ceremony Personal, No Matter Who Officiates
No matter who you choose, your ceremony should reflect you. That might mean telling a short version of your love story, including a shared reading, or writing vows that make each other laugh and cry. It might mean exchanging rings in silence, lighting a candle, or simply standing hand-in-hand as the wind rustles through the trees.
The magic of an elopement is that it’s yours to shape. And with the right elopement officiant, you’ll be able to create a ceremony that feels like the most honest expression of your love.
If you’re in the planning stages and looking for a photographer who can also help guide you through the details, I’d love to be part of your day. I’m always happy to share vendor recommendations, ceremony tips, and support as you create a wedding experience that feels like you. Let’s chat!